21 years old = lose, my driving skills = win and the spicy penis

So this Wilfred show is actually pretty funny. When I first heard about it I loved the idea, but after watching the first episode I wasn’t very impressed which was somewhat annoying since the concept has so much potential. Now I’m a few episodes in and after seeing them go to a beach where dogs weren’t allowed and kill a stork I’m hooked.

If you have any interest in an unemployed, hobbit lawyer and an Australian dog/person smoking weed, shitting in people’s shoes, eating nachos and other shenanigans then check this show out.

I went on a couple of dates with this really cute girl that (I thought) had amazing in taste in books, movies and tv. We hit it off on the first dates but I don’t think it’s going to work out. First of all, I don’t even know how long I’m going to be in this city so I don’t want to get into some long term, serious relationship. I just want someone to cool go out with and have fun, even a platonic relationship is fine (you can get head in a platonic relationship, right?). She seems really into me (duh) but it’s actually starting to get annoying. Last night she gave me this look that made me feel like I was watching my past relationships in syndication. Saying this makes me feel really old but no matter how hard she tries, 21 is just too young. I’m not sure what I did to swoon her but I’d like to take it back because it was a lot of fun hanging out with her before that.

The above definitely contributed, but then last night I also found out that she’s one of those Stargate Atlantis fans that hates Stargate Universe. Honestly, that is a dealbreaker for me.

Oh, I almost died yesterday. It was awesome!

It had rained quite a bit earlier in the day and I was on my way home from work. There’s this freeway off ramp that I take everyday on my way home and I don’t think I did anything different today, but when I took the sharp turn I totally lost control of my car and ended up doing this awesome umm… well it was more than a 180, maybe like a 258. I didn’t hit anyone or anything because I’m awesome and have lots of experience in similar situations from video games. When I regained control, I continued the spin to straighten out like I did the whole thing on purpose and just kept going like nothing happened.

My adrenaline was pumping and as I came down from my “holy shit I’m awesome” high, I realized that this was the song that I had blasting in my car throughout the incident:

It’s one of my favorite Feist songs, but it didn’t really capture the mood.

I decided to stop drinking bottled water because Captain Planet told me he knows where I live and will green mullet rape me. I was like, well maybe you should just send the asian and blonde planeteer girls to handle that but he didn’t buy it. Supposedly this area has some of the best tap water in the US, but it still tastes like the tin man’s piss to me.

Also, I totally touched my penis without thinking about it the other night after I just cooked and ate a dinner that consisted primarily of hot sauce and fresh jalapenos. My manliness burned for literally an hour and nothing seemed to make it better, everything I tried just made me look like an idiot and the burning worse. Most of you are probably laughing, but I know one of you (you know who you are) wants to give me a hug. If this is what it feels like to have an std then I’m never having sex again. Ok, that was a lie but I am going to start wearing a condom after I eat.


About becauseimightforget

Yes, yes it is.
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One Response to 21 years old = lose, my driving skills = win and the spicy penis

  1. Tim says:

    Star gate universe is horrible. She sounds nice. Lol

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